Forgotten Promise of a Wanted Smile
by LatentBeauty
Summary: You promised. I believed you with all my heart. Was that stupidity? Foolishness? Or only idealism? You broke your promise. You left me. Alone and cold in a world I knew nothing of.


This is a one shot.

Please excuse my grammatical errors, I was never formally taught English.

Forgotten Promise of a Wanted Smile

You promised.

I believed you with all my heart.

We were perfect.

I can remember you clearly, as if my mind has taken a snapshot of you. An old faded photograph pushed away in the back of my memory is what I see everyday when I awake. Your eyes, as grey as the sky on an overcast day, haunt my thoughts. Your light hair encompasses me at nightfall when I close my eyes hoping to see you again. It is your small smile that tortures me the most. I only saw it rarely but it was my favorite thing about you. It made me feel amazing to have the ability to make you smile, to light up your night as the stars do.

I loved you. I hope you knew that. I wish I could have had the courage to tell you, but your rejection is something that I always had feared. So instead I whispered it to you every night after you were asleep. I wrote long letters to you signed _yours forever_ that always ended up crumpled in my waste basket. I thought about it every night. And all the shooting stars I have ever seen were wished upon you. All the pennies in the fountains around the world were thrown in with a thought of you. I guess it was all a waste.

But still everyday spent with you was like living in a utopia. I ran away to a fairytale world where the stars always shinned and the days were always beautiful. With you I hid from reality. And in my illusion you were there, your hand held tightly in mine. I thought it would go on forever, that you would be my prince that saved me from the evil witch. I thought you would carry me off into the sunset, my castle awaiting.

Instead confessing your undying love for me like the prince right before it says _and they lived happily ever after _you always whispered softly in my ear when we sat beneath the willow near the lake, _I promise you that I'll never leave. I am yours forever._ I believed you. I thought you would always be mine forever. I thought that years from now we would sit beneath the willow and you would hold me closely. I thought your promises would forever be kept intact. Was that stupidity? Foolishness? Or only idealism?

And do you remember that day we danced in the rain? I tried so hard to tell you how much I cared. While you spun me round and round I thought about how if you ever let me go I would come crashing down. I thought that the rain was washing us clean, making us ready for the future where we would live happily ever after. You were so beautiful that day. The overcast sky matched your bright eyes perfectly. And your wet hair was plastered to your head and your face was lit up by the biggest smile I had ever seen. You leaned up to taste the rain, arching your head ever so slightly so that a few drops would cascade down from the dark clouds onto your tongue. And I remember that when they finally touched your lips you laughed aloud and pulled me close to kiss my forehead. You always knew that that made me melt.

I was always yours, hands down. You knew that all along.

And then out of nowhere came _The End_ without the desired words before.

You broke your promise. You left me. Alone and cold in a world I knew nothing off.

Did I ever really matter to you, or was it always just my fantasy? I can't help but think that if you had really loved me you would have stayed.

The day you left was the darkest day I have ever seen. The sky was a perfect azure mocking me in my sorrow. And the wind blew my auburn hair about. It would have blown me away if you had not kept me close in your arms.

At the station, when you had to say goodbye, I remember that you slowly put down your red trunk. You brushed your fingers across my cheeks and tilted my pale face up, so that I could see into your eyes. You promised that you'd come back. And once again I believed you full heartedly. How could I not?

The whistle blew calling you away. You turned to the train, your back to me. I cried silently, aching to be kissed one last time. I was granted my wish. You turned, bent down, and kissed me gently. It was beautiful, just like you always were. As you pulled away I caught your gaze one last time. I needed to look at you, so that I could keep you in my memory forever.

You walked off then, quietly into the crowd. Maybe it's a fabrication of my mind or maybe it was real, but I distinctly remember you turning again and smiling at me, the smile that I loved. That smile, whether reality or illusion is etched in my mind for eternity.

I never said I loved you. Not even when you left.

I often wonder if that would have changed everything. If maybe you would still be mine, just like you promised.

I waited years for years. But that was just another shattered pledge. You never came back.

And now I'm completely lost. My need drives me to you, my mind away.

What did I ever do wrong? Did you ever love me? I _need_ to know.

Won't you ever come back?

Years later I was wandering around the small alleys of London. The sky was scattered with dark rain clouds. The streets were eerily quiet, as though all the tourists had thought the day was one better spent inside. But to me it was hauntingly beautiful. Days like that always cheer me up; make me appreciate what little I had with you. So as I walked I began to laugh at all our times in school. I smiled with joy at the bittersweet memories of us. In fact for the first time in years I actually felt genuinely happy.

And then I saw you, for the first time in seven years. Your arm that used to pull me into you was wrapped around another girl. You hand stroked her black hair slowly as it had done to me. And you smiled for her. When I saw the smile I lost it. I thought I was the only one that had that power. I thought you saved your smiles for me only. But here you were on the corner gazing into the eyes of my replacement and smiling.

I never mattered did I?

You've forgotten me.

I can't stop crying now. Memories keep flooding into my mind accompanying my tears. I remember the first time you told me you liked me. We were sixteen, dancing across the ballroom floor of your rich parents. The violin quartet played a slow beautiful song, a ballad of the past. As I sat on the sidelines watching all the privileged I noticed you. We made eye contact. You asked me to dance and then after three songs whispered the words quietly into my ear. I remember when you first kissed me. It was Halloween. We were dressed up elaborately sitting on a stone wall in one of the many courtyards of Hogwarts looking at the stars. You leaned in slowly and gently placed your lips upon mine. I remember the only time you ever told me you loved me. It was written in your almost illegible scrawl left outside the door one winter morning. It was completely unexpected. But it was all that I had ever wanted. Funny the way life is often like that.

You know, I still have that small scrap of paper. It's tucked beneath my bed surrounded by pictures of us throughout our three long years. I look at it every single night before I fall asleep.

I wish with all my heart that I had written back. That I could have overcame my fear.

Because it's too late now.

But I suppose that it's better to say it then let it stay inside of me. So beneath your messy handwriting I etch three words into the faded parchment. _I love you._

And then I say it aloud. _I love you._

And I think to myself, maybe you heard. Maybe you'll come back now and fix all the promises now. Maybe you'll mend the broken pieces of your words. Maybe you'll right everything and take me back to my fairytale.

Maybe it'll be perfect again.

_I still love you._

_Come back to me, that's all I ask._

_Come back.._


End file.
